She's Not Mama Cass, You Know

So, I don't know a lot about Buffy The Vampire Slayer. But I was told that there was an untransmitted pilot where Willow was played by a fat girl. How great is that? I'd love to see a whiny, wheezey girl waddling around after Buffy*, bitching: "Hey, slow down Blondie! I need a ham sandwich before you slay again!" The above title was someone else's response to that image.

Continuing with this theme, I asked why Xander got fat as the series progressed. "He's not fat. He's poofy," said a fan. "He's tubby," I said. This fan said it was a progressive thing, so now I think I missed many episodes with Xander going "Buffy, can I have some extra butter on my pop-tart?**" So I guess the series did get its resident fat chick in the end.

*Tom Baker always wanted a companion like this for Dr Who. Years later, in the Big Finish audio dramas, the Doctor (not Tom's) got one, a fat, old Art History Professor named Maggie.

**Obscure joke. The Basselopes all died out from this, which was reported by Milo Bloom for the Bloom Picayune as "Fast Living". Remember the Bloom County comic strip?