Reality Strikes Back

Dear Jay:
Under no circumstances can you bitch about your haircut when a) you went to a place called Great Clips for Hair and b) pointed out someone in Teen People as the person whose haircut you wanted.

Bet you miss us now we're gone,
Your hair


Dear Jay:
I couldn't help but notice from the above you wanted to have ****** ******'s hair. What you ACTUALLY wanted was to LOOK like him. Unfortunately, you'd need a dedicated team of liposuctionists, dieticians, personal trainers, personal groomers and personal shoppers, not to mention a fully-functioning Time Machine.
Doctor Who don't make no house calls, yo.

Shut up and eat some pizza,
Your Fat Ass

On the plus side, I did get the new Dr Who novel and The Boy With the Arab Strap on vinyl today, so I can swill cheap vodka, read fan-boy wanking and listen to Sad Bastard music in the corner while everyone else goes to see BAILEY'S COMET at the circus....