Tuesday, December 10, 2002

I grow old... I grow old...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

I simply should not have gotten out of bed today.

The best thing that happened to me actually happened yesterday. I heard a version of a ballad about Water Raleigh that appears in the Lost Colony, but all Blue-grassy.
"If I sink her in the lone and the lonesome sea, if I sink her in the lonesome low..."

Other than that, all I can say is I've gotten double karma for lambasting somebody yesterday.
(Even though most of it fell after I changed the damn post.)

And to top it all off...
(gods, a pause here effect is not unwarranted)
I've gone and made Llew mad at me.

Christ, what I fuck-up I am. I know: my parents always gently remind me of that, but usually I can come up with a defense against it. Not today. Not now.
I'm poor, dumb and alone. And I suspect/know I deserve it.
I can hear my parents guffawing in their own endearing manner, letting "See... We were right about that, as well" fall out between gales of hooting.

Now here's the really funny part: I can't even afford a bottle of malt liquor to drink myself into/out of a humor.

"I have grown old before my time,
If ever young I were.
Ambition was a grievous sin,
and grievous was my wage.
My hope is scattered in the wind
And yet it drives me on."

There's an overpass near my house that I sometimes walk over. I always wonder what it'd be like to jump off.

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