Work is Weird, Part II
Or, Actual Customer Conversation
A guy walks up to me today. Imagine him as a frat-boy hipster poseur: trucker cap a few months too late, Gap clothes attempting to look chairty shop cool, the irrevocable stains of Dave Matthews on his taste... Did I mention he was so stoned he could barely walk?
Frat Guy: I know you...
Me: I don't think so.
FG: Yeah... You go out with that hot chick.
Me: I'm pretty sure you're thinking of someone else.
FG: You were at... the show. Yeah, the one, you know. You were... like, both wearing hats.
Me: stares at him
FG: She's hot, man.. Like... (laughs) Hott.
exit Frat Guy
I *think* he means the Manitoba/Broadcast show and I *think* he means Alicia, as we both wore hats to that show. But by that same logic, I also go out with Bendte, Viva, Forrest and Casey Burns, who were all within three feet of me.
I now have images of the Chapel Hill's hippest orgy...
Also at work, someone in another department attempted to steal our "Order Specialty Drinks at Cashier" sign. Now, I love this sign with a deep passion, because when people bark orders at me, I smile sweetly, point to the sign in front of their face and say "I'm sorry. You need to WAIT YOUR TURN and ORDER AT THE CASHIER. Thanks!"
Without this sign, my little coffee shop would desend into Chaos not seen since the first milliseconds after the Big Bang.
And she just walks over and tries to take it away. No "Do you mind if..." or "Can I take this...". I tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen, so I called in the store manager.
Of course, then we all had to discuss the situation and reach a Whole Foods-y compromise. But I kept the sign up with the important bits on.
Damn straight, Bitch! You don't mess with my sign!
I mentioned earlier my Excellent Mixtape for my trip to Deleware. It went like this...
"Radio" by Pitty Sing, from the s/t EP
"The Boy With the Thorn in His Side" by Bis from The Smiths is Dead Comp
"Electric Version" by the New Pornographers from The Electric Version
"T-Shirt Weather" by the Lucksmiths (illegaly downloaded)
"Take Ecstasy with Me" by the Magnetic Fields, sung by Claudia and not
Stephin, also illegally downloaded
"NYC" from the Interpol album Turn On The Bright Lights
"The Late Great Cassiopiea"by the Essex Green from The Long Goodbye
"Happy Noodle Versus Sad Noodle" By Logan Whitehurst and the Jr Science
Club from the disc Goodbye, My 4-Track
"The Eccentric Dr Who" by Malcolm Lockyear ans His Orchestra, from the
album Who's Dr Who
"I'd Feel Better" by the Rosebuds from the Merge Comp Survive and Advance
"If She Wants Me" by Belle and Sebastian from Dear Catastrophe Waitress
"Yes Sir, Yes Way" by Des Ark from Pox World Empires's Compulation Comp
A song from Pig Lib from Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks
"Arigoto We Love You" from the Pizzicato 5
"Candy Pants" from the Jett-Rink album