Hey! You know how you can tell meat is better than Ramen?
There's meat-flavored Ramen but not Ramen-flavored meat!
Chicken with Garden Vegetables is the best... It's almost like A Real Meal, what with sodium based vegetable flavor and sodium based chicken essence.
If poverty don't get me, the incipient heart disease will, the two hours a day at the gym notwithstanding.

I'm reading this faboo book (words straight boys can't use 1867) called The Basic Eight. It is a trip. I laugh out loud on practically every page. How I wish I was like that in High School! (That's my only complaint about the book: these kids so aren't high school kids. I wasn't even that chic, hep and witty as an undergrad. Dinner Parties? Wine? Maybe San Fransico is vastly different than Hickory, NC) Then again, I think was relatively happy in high school.
Apparently, I wasn't. My friend Darren (who has disappeared into a hole called Boston, evidently permapeeved at me) swears up and down I was miserable. Oh, the Joys of Supression! I don't remember a damn thing.
My high school was so very, fundamentally weird. I'll tell stories one day. Of course, when I Become Famous I will say I attended St Brendan's Academy in Norwich, Connecticut. Who's to say I didn't?