A less black thought:
One of the perks of being a full-time waiter -- and if you squint your eyes and suspend disbelief, it is a perk -- is getting a new "guest check pad" each shift. On the back you can write all the daily specials and such. I was always write some amusing song lyrics on the back. I found about 15 floating around today, with sundry lyrics on the back. They include:

"I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear." The Smiths
"Indie boys are neurotic" The Moldy Peaches
"Make a new cult everyday to suit to your affairs." Belle and Sebastian
"Her name is Yoshimi, she's got a blackbelt in karate." The Flaming Lips
"If you're feeling Sinister, go off and see a minister..." more B&S
"For a bit of honesty, I will repay you handsomely..." The Gentle Waves
"I never thought you'd be a junkie because heroin is so passe." The Dandy Warhols
"Will you be there for me?" Reindeer Section
"Take me to the haven of your bed, something that you never said..." more Smiths
"But when I come to blows, when I am numbering my foes, I just hope your are on my side my dear" B&S

For what it's worth, I think the "Make a new cult..." one came up the most.

Dr Who of the Day: The Visitation, part two. Richard Mace still rocks. He should have made it as a regular. Pretty much everybody else sux. The 17th Century costumes rock.