Saturday, September 28, 2002

Hello, Gentle Reader.
I've had a lot of rum tonight. A pint, in fact. Oh yes, I'll pay for it, eventually. I'll sleep but little tonight. The sauce makes me pass out for two or three hours and then keeps me up for hours on end. I've heard that as the liver metabolizes alcohol, it produces a stimulant. I don't doubt it.
And this excludes the hangover. But it's not like I've got aught to do tomorrow.

I've not heard from The Boy Who Would Be Roommate tonight. I'm not surprised.

The high point of today was my swell package.
Umm... Not quite what I meant (though my own is not bad). Ms Llew's Package arrived today. Yay, yay, yay!
She sent me: Two books, Nalda Said, by ex-Belle and Sebastian bassist Stuart David (I've read 20 pages and am already in love) and The Wide Window, the next book in A Series of Unfortunate Events.
I've never said word one about the The Wide Window, but I've severely desired it. This only goes to show Ms Llew's utter perfection. (How I would marry her in reality if only things were differerent...)
She also sent a Lemony Snicket pad and some temporary tattoos. I've been seriously considering a new real tattoo, and I'd quite like to get the stylized eye on my arm. It's almost like one of those daft tribal sticky-ones, but it is cool. When I get money...
Also included were the two Sinister mix tapes. Well, CDs. How careful must I be in speaking of these! Sir Declan has spoken quite ill of Laura when she misspoke on these discs.
Which is odd, because Declan's is quite very good. I really liked it. Even if I wanted to, I couldn't knock it.
Michelle (who, as I understand, loves Robert Smith) also makes a good CD. I even said as much in private correspondance to Llew. I quite like MoonDance and The Time of the Season, which she put in. I'm still trying to decide the appropriate mark to leave in her booklet.
Michelle's is about Lost Love, which sent me into many reminiscences. It was quite odd, I thought about people I'd not thought about for a long time. It also made me think of a boy in particular who may have been very fond of me but who I never thought of that way. And we spent quite a lot of time together. We were quite inseperable. And we worked so very well together...
How foolish that was. I wish I could go back and change that.
But I can't. I'm not too mushy about it, as I know he's happy now. (Really, what does it take to get over me?) And that makes me feel better.

I cleaned the hovel today very, very well.

How I'd love to be anywhere else but here. Have you seen Sabrina, when she says that people should be in Paris when it rains? I've been in Paris when it rains, and I would love to be there again. I got lost in the Quartier Latin and got a Coca Lite and a napoleon in a little patisserie.
Everywhere I go, I get lost. I got lost in North London last time I was there. I wandered the streets of Camden Town, Belsize Park and Chalk Farm at 2 in the morning. I was cold and alone, then, but how'd love to be there again.
The last place I went was Easley, SC. No matter lovely that town was, it's time to go somewhere else. I'd love to go to DC or NY. Or even back to Manteo. Just somewhere away from here and all my troubles...

I dreamt last night I got an email from my friend Darren, inviting me to apologize. I wanted to, indeed. But I recongized it was a dream and I really couldn't.
I still would, though. Because, well, because I would. He deserves it. And I'm scum.

I spent quite a lot of time playing guitar today, "Judy and the Dream of Horses", "Roller Coaster", "She's Losing It" and "This Is Just A Modern Rock Song."

I'm still quite lonely. And afraid. And alone.

Word of the day: negus: a punch drink, named after the English navy officer who created it, made of port wine, water, sugar, lemon, and spice. It's mentioned in The Pickwick Papers.

Which I am still reading. Number XVIII, chap. LII.

I didn't watch Dr Who today.

Ms Llew rocks today because: I said it before -- she's great. She's just not great; she's psyically great. Indeedy.

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